langue réforme

Moved

2009-11-22T18:29:00.003-05:00

Blank

2009-10-28T03:48:00.002-04:00

Guys.
I'm ill. I'm tired. I'm hurt.
I have no words left to say.
its like i never happened.
I'm shutting down this blog until further notice.
Anything urgent, call or shoot me an email.

Kev I'm sorry I couldn't contact you lately.
Hang in there. Be strong.
Remember who you were.
We all need to find ourselves again.
And even if we need to lie to ourselves,
We tell ourselves
That everything's gonna be okay.

It

2009-10-26T20:29:00.002-04:00

this is it.

To Happiness

2009-10-25T22:49:00.003-04:00

The night seems to be passing.
Or so I tell myself tonight.
The dawn, it should be breaking.
But it isn't right now alright.
On and on I'll keep walking.
Until I see the light.
And when I see the sun rising,
Then I'll know it was worth the fight.

u oyt uoh ti
I'll be happier.
wroh tiw

Okay

2009-10-18T00:08:00.009-04:00

I want to hope.
I want to fight for your heart again.

But you seem so much happier without me.
And I want you to be happy.

I guess that's enough for me.

Just Take My Heart

2009-10-16T20:24:00.005-04:00

It's late at night and neither one of us is sleeping
I can't imagine living my life after you're gone
Wondering why so many questions have no answers
I keep on searching for the reason why we went wrong

Where is our yesterday?
You and I could use it right now
But if this is goodbye

Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you, but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go

Here we are about to take the final step now
I just can't fool myself, I know there's no turning back
Face to face it's been endless conversation
But when the love is gone you're left with nothing but talk
I'd give my everything
If only I could turn you around
But if this is goodbye

Just take my heart when you go
I don't have the need for it anymore
I'll always love you but you're too hard to hold
Just take my heart when you go

- Mr.Big

Torn In Two

2009-10-16T19:33:00.005-04:00

Its like I lost a chunk of me
My heart in my throat,
Can't breathe suddenly
I'm lost, down for the count
Inexplicably weary
Soul torn in two
Shreds of old memories

Why I never cherished
What was right in front of me
Why didn't I know
Life could be so empty
It's like I'm screaming underwater
Far far out at sea
Stone clad ankles pulling me in
As I drown, and die slowly

Keeping The End In Sight

2009-10-14T02:26:00.002-04:00

I stared at a stranger in the mirror today
So much has changed in two years' time
Good things and bad as I aged away
Still on I slog for victory's chime

On My Mind

2009-10-07T03:52:00.001-04:00

How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

-Alexander Pope

Off My Chest

2009-07-09T16:02:00.003-04:00

These random thoughts, they run through my head
When I really ought to be sleeping instead
But if I don't get them off of my chest now
I'd be thinking, wide awake, disturbed on my bed

The first one's bout a friend, and one I know true
Everyone falls now and then, that includes you
So keep your chin up, and take your loss by its horns
Be a man, do what you know you must do

The second's of a temple, rotting on the inside
No coming out in view, it shuns and it hides
Lines have been blurred, and motives collide
Love distorted, defaced, misted by money and pride

The third's of a nearly next of kin of mine
A new life, a new path, a new goal to find
To you I brandish a cloverleaf, and a horseshoe too
So you might prosper and let your gift shine

The fourth's of two pillars, and quite rightly so
For they weigh almost the same, and together we go
Hawaii, Korea, destroyed boxes and singing shows
We've been through so much, and there'll be more, I know

The last's of a maiden, ever fair, ever tanned
Can't believe its almost two years since I first held your hand
We approach a new winter as we prepare to leave
Still the same, together, to our foreign familiar land

There, my thoughts for tonight as I drift off to where
Anything is possible, and I've no burdens to bear
Until the fiery globe lights up the earth once again
Where my dreams take me, I don't know and don't care

Our Forgotten Neverlands

2009-04-13T11:56:00.001-04:00

Ticketty-ticketty-ticketty-tock
Time, it bites on our heels like the croc with the clock
We all need to fly, we’d get caught if we walked
But we bartered our wings for grown-up shoes and old socks

As we age we lose sight of our own Neverlands
The world loses its luster, colors faded and bland
Life ceases to be an adventure, the idolization of trends
And we mindlessly run on, waiting for the madness to end

Where are our yesterdays?

Wax Lyrical

2009-02-03T22:51:00.003-05:00

Whither the poet? He's gone somewhere
In the vast and great land of the bull, now the bear
Far from his home and the people who care
Lone figure in the darkness cutting solitaire

Nursing fresh wounds the poet limps through the hall
Waxing lyrical of the irony that doom should befall
In the stillness of night, the loud silence appalls
Flight, then a sprint, then a jog, now a crawl

Walk on, says the poet, as he gets off the floor
The soul screams in protest, but he walks all the more
Reassembling the harness of confidence he wore
Praying for the numbness so his feet stop feeling sore

What comes for the poet as the new dawn unfolds
Seemingly warmer and brighter than the one of old
Will it bring despair as the wise ones foretold
Or thaw and disperse the ice and the cold?

saysaysay
fuckcitadel

Hell Frozen Over

2009-01-20T08:39:00.000-05:00

Wanna see what hell looks like frozen over?

Come to Michigan.

Breathe

2008-12-15T16:07:00.002-05:00

It's been how long?
I kinda forgot.
2 more days. Just 2 more.
Then I get to breathe.
No worries about Stryker,
or GPA, rent, Kalamazoo, career fairs,
papers, projects, interviews,
resumes, New York, events.
None of that.
And for that short time,
from then to Jan 8th,
I finally get to breathe.

Home

2008-08-16T18:24:00.006-04:00

These past 2 months flew by so fast
And it wasn't before last night that I finally saw
That the one reason Singapore will always be my home
Is my family and my friends
So I want to take out some time
To thank all of you
Who made these months so memorable
Junmin, Kev, V, Melvin, Kenny, Joel, Gab, Jerome boy
Without you, home wouldn't really be home

actuallysadtobeflying
because I'm leaving on a jet plane
and this time I don't know when I'll be back again
So all of you take care and be strong
and remember to call from home

Spit

2008-08-08T16:01:00.001-04:00

When somebody takes
Your well-meaning advice
Chews it and spits it in your face
You know that somebody
Is not a somebody you should
Even give a damn about.

Not Quite Same Old

2008-07-05T14:23:00.003-04:00

Sitting in the same chair staring hard
At a slightly different wall
Thinking about the very same things
Making vastly different calls
Same old people with the same old laughs
All fighting different brawls
Same old couch and ktvs
Crooning to a slightly different waltz

Familiar nights and deja vus
Performances by a virtual band
Wala's still that same old haunt
Graced by slightly different friends
Same old drink in the cold glass
In my newly scarred right hand
And in my left, a golden scroll
I just cannot understand

onlytime

Homeward Bound

2008-06-11T20:46:00.003-04:00

If I were to sum up my time spent here in Bloomington for the past 6 months, it’ll be in one word: eventful. So much has changed in these past weeks here. I’d say I’ve achieved much of what I set out to do, made many new friends and strengthened my relationships with existing ones along the way.

It’s nice to actually be able to envision the end of Spring and Summer semester, and finally see greenery after that dreadfully long winter. I’ve visited LA, New York, Chicago and Seattle over my past year here, been fishing and boating at Lake Monroe, experienced floods and tornado warnings, won a case competition, assumed the responsibility of being the president of the IUSSA, gotten into Hutton Honors, got pulled over 4 times for speeding, flew to Canada to buy iced wine, bought countless board games and also got a contact within Ernst & Young.

Come to think of it, I really did accomplish a lot in this short span of time. Still, I’ve got to admit that even though I have great friends and an incomparable girlfriend here, towards the end of my time here, my heart was very much set on home. This might just be the very last summer semester that I’ll ever enroll for. The next two summers will be spent doing internships and further building up my resume.

Alas, the time has come for me to bid my temporal goodbyes to school and head on to the theme park central of the world, Orlando Florida! After that there’ll be a 4 day visit to the Big Apple and then I get to go home!

I’ll be arriving in Singapore on my birthday, and will be celebrating it on the weekend. No mystery as to where it’ll be held. It’s going to be the same old simple fare, a barbeque and drinking session as per previous years. I will personally call, or proxy my invite to let you guys know the exact date and time.
And yes, Vinod and Kev, my mum will be preparing her barbeque beef.

To the death of June.

Diu!

2008-06-11T16:59:00.001-04:00

Its almost over.
Just two more freakin hurdles.
I see that bloody line.
And its about time. Diu!

Premiership 08

2008-05-11T20:07:00.001-04:00

We are the champions.

Chelsea can kiss my ass.

Keeping It In Sight

2008-04-22T02:28:00.002-04:00

Life may not always be what we want it to be
And deals may not always turn out right
But in these times, when our paths we cannot see
Our purpose, our call we must keep in sight
These times are what make us strong and free
And take us to unprecedented heights
Power, fame, cash and fancy intrinsic luxuries
All will pale in a meaningful life's light

The Death Of May

2008-02-29T01:23:00.003-05:00

4 more months of work to go
And a million miles away
Frozen rain and wind chill cold
As I look back at yesterday
Songs heard and sung, some out of tone
On one couch our memories lay
Thats my driving force, my goal
As I look forward to the death of May

I'llbebacksoon

CNY From Afar

2008-02-07T01:45:00.001-05:00

Its a little late.
But to all those close to my heart.

新年快乐!

Memo

2008-02-03T06:18:00.000-05:00

Hey people,

I'm still alive, don't worry. I apologize for the prolonged absence from my blog since I left in December. Things here have been pretty darn crazy and my schedule does not permit me the time to call back at opportune timings. I will be blogging again soon, but just for your information, I think the trip to visit Jac MIGHT have to be postponed. There's a high chance I'll be doing summer school till June, but I'll still be back in time for my bday. Call me if there's anything urgent. Wish you were here.

Jerms

Back Again

2007-12-24T16:07:00.000-05:00

The good times are back again.
At least for now.
Its good.

Those Were The Good Times

2007-12-08T02:42:00.000-05:00

I just have to write about this.

You know how it feels when you're far away from family and old friends, when you're ill, tired, and just feel like going home? I feel like that today. Life here can get so hectic sometimes. And suddenly you realize home might be boring and all, but at the very least, you have people there. The fact that next week is exam week, and I still have 2 papers to write, 2 assignments to finish and 4 consecutive days of exams just saps morale out of me. To make matters worse, my body decided to give in at this most inopportune time, and I'm so lethargic and sick that I can't get much work done. It just keeps piling up, and I need people.

I have people here. Only a few. The rest are just not my kind of people. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but that's just how it is here. But I can't rely on the same people all the time. Every night, when I walk down the stairs alone to take my last cigarrette of the day, that feeling just creeps in. I miss smoking with my friends. Its not so much the activity of smoking that I miss, but the conversations and moments that we shared. With them it was always heart to heart, no holds barred. And apart from Diane and Alex, it's hard to find people here. The locals are all kids, remarkably self-centred and self promoting, everyone else just doesn't fit the bill.

That's probably why I was so happy to hear Joseph on the phone today. We haven't spoken ever since the bugger had the heart to call all the way from NZ on my birthday in June. We didn't speak long because my calling card unexpectedly had very little money left, but the familiarity of his voice brought back forgotten memories. KL, Crossfire, Simpang, Siglap. Those were good times. Companionship was just a phone call away. We worked and relaxed together. We dissed Wee Lai Tiau and screwed him over for fun. Jun Min, Kev, Vinod, Joseph, Ben, Melvin, Kasper, we all lived for the 5.30pms and weekends. Didn't matter what happened in the day, at night we'd laugh it off and enjoy ourselves. Come to think of it, Jun Min was right. As much as I hated my time spent in NS, I cannot deny that those were the simplest, most uncomplicated times of my life. No pressure, no worries, taking each day as it comes. DOTA, PS2, walaing, suppers, movies, hanging out, sleepless sleepovers, KTVing, taking MC and all that bullshit was worth its weight in gold. It does, occasionally, become rather hard to accept that those good times are past and might never come back again. I wish, sometimes, that I didn't have to let those moments go. But we all grow up, we all have to live our lives and do what we ought to do. We just try to preserve the friendships that we built, and work at bringing those moments back to life again. Because those were the good times.

I don't hate the US. I don't hate school. Bloomington isn't that bad, seriously. I have a 350Z here. More importantly, I've got good friends and a caring and understanding partner. Seattle
was fantastic too. It's just that I wish my family and old pals were here to share these new environments with me too. Like when my dad calls and says he's been sick for a week, I worry. When I find out that Joel got a tattoo, I worry for Jerome. I can't do shit while I'm here. And that feeling sucks.

It isn't like me to get all depressed and negative. I am convinced that I stand up well to adversity and can adapt to most environments. I'm sure that I have already settled in here and to the lifestyle and schedule of a college student. I'm not the type to shelve my problems and pretend they aren't there. This illness is just really getting to me tonight. Maybe I just need to rest and recover. Maybe I should brush it off and let these feelings slide. Maybe this is all just a passing phase.

Maybe tomorrow things will be better.

Snow

2007-12-05T01:12:00.000-05:00

Snow falls down on this college town
Putting a smile on many faces
But look closely and perhaps, just maybe
You'll see one staring at blank spaces

What's Behind

2007-11-28T01:26:00.000-05:00

Someone pointed out today
That I always look ahead
That I never look behind
And I think to myself
Perhaps that's a good thing
But in the dark recesses of my mind
I know I never look back
Because I don't want to

The Way I See It

2007-11-26T16:00:00.001-05:00

In every part of me
There will always be a you

Holiday

2007-11-26T15:34:00.000-05:00

For all the fun and enjoyment of a holiday
There's always that depressing journey
Back to reality
And then all the good times just become memories

seattle was fabulous
buteverythingthatgoesupmustcomedown

Doughnuts

2007-11-17T23:55:00.000-05:00

I drove 2 hours for 3 boxes of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts

Right Now

2007-11-09T00:56:00.000-05:00

168 or 85.
19 right side up, 1 upside down.
Tire spins and weaving in and out.
Drinks and music in Netherlands
Shouting hoarse into mikes.
Thats what I need right now.

thatsallineedrightnow

Deaf Ears

2007-11-01T23:22:00.000-04:00

Days like these are when I speak silent words
Tales of my experiences, they fall on deaf ears
Solace is far from grasp, experiences unheard
Empathy non-existent, solitary heart pierced
Smiles they breeze past, unaware and unperturbed
And I keep my eyes set on returning home near
The day when I know, when I am assured
That I won’t just be a shadow that people cannot hear

Halloween

2007-10-29T02:06:00.000-04:00

Halloween was fun.

Here's Di and I decked out as James Bond and Bond Girl.

And here's our ugly little kid.

James Bond has a secret. His brother is a nerd.

Our beautiful girls...

Cleopatra was there. Getting high.

Needless to say, King Tut wasn't very happy.

Cuz she ended up with a cow.

Chocolate Heart

2007-10-23T23:26:00.001-04:00

Took my heart away
And gave me a chocolate replacement
on my face

Arch Enemy

2007-10-20T00:59:00.000-04:00

Math is in 8 hours

And I'd better not screw this up.

Two Months

2007-10-16T01:10:00.000-04:00

I miss those good times at KTV
It took me two months
But hell I miss it

Lifelines

2007-10-15T01:45:00.000-04:00

In times like these
When my body falters and spirit diminishes
The people around and those at home
Are the only things that keep me going

Victory

2007-10-07T21:53:00.001-04:00

This is my new car. 287 horses.
You can all start crying now.

Mari Kita

2007-10-05T21:03:00.000-04:00

You know you're old and Singaporean when
Someone tells you there's a foam party in school
And all you think about is how
You can bring your laundry there

Mari Kita

Point Of View

2007-10-05T02:34:00.000-04:00

I was wondering today
If you could see you the way
That I see you

Spent

2007-10-01T02:17:00.001-04:00

I feel spent.
But I know I spent on something
Absolutely worth spending on

Roses

2007-09-29T04:25:00.000-04:00

The world never was a bed of roses
But no one ever told you to be a florist

This Week

2007-09-28T02:16:00.000-04:00

This week in one word:
tiring

My Parents' Parcel

2007-09-24T21:02:00.000-04:00

I received a huge parcel from my loving parents today.

Guess what was in it.

6 jumbo packs of Jack and Jill Potato Chips, 4 1.5 liter bottles of Pokka Green Tea, two cans of Wella hairspray and 6 packs of Nissin Cup Noodles.

Did I mention that I love my parents?

Resolution

2007-09-24T17:17:00.000-04:00

I'm going to stop smoking.
Soon.

Impossible

2007-09-19T01:56:00.000-04:00

Dimming lights and serial black outs
And the impossible loss of mass

Sometimes

2007-09-19T01:51:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think about the life I had
And I wish I wasn't here
Though today was better than yesterday
Than past weeks and months and years
But echoes of these memories
All those good times with my peers
They won't stop pricking at this heart
But I can't seem to find the tears

Star

2007-09-17T01:05:00.000-04:00

I can't go get the star for you
Because you are my star

Not Good

2007-09-11T22:24:00.000-04:00

Heavy eyes feel like cannonballs
And a fire burns in my head

thisisnotgood

Heart on Exhibit

2007-09-11T02:56:00.000-04:00

Tonight we spoke of many things
Far too much for words to sum
Souls laid bare, nothing clandestine
My mind displayed, open palm
Though it's late, soon alarms shall ring
And my eyes to the dark succumbs
I smile at the hope that the future brings
Many more such nights to come

myheartonexhibit

Indiana University

2007-09-10T18:38:00.001-04:00

Balcony

2007-09-09T00:07:00.000-04:00

These days I seem to have forgotten
What it's like to be alone
A loved one, new friends and floormates,
Fiddling with my iphone
Missing the times I smoked and thought
Alone on my balcony
When I had a car and nowhere was too far
Songs at wala and KTV

Heart to heart conversations with friends
And a string of cigarette smoke
Jun Min's philosophies, Vinod's shouts
and Kevin's hopeless jokes
And I tell myself that it's okay
That soon all will be alright
But I wonder if I'm kidding myself
As I go to sleep tonight

A million miles away from home

My Sanity

2007-09-07T02:08:00.000-04:00

Times like these
I find my solace
In those streaks of subtle red
And the brown stare of those gems

mysanity

Under

2007-09-02T01:59:00.001-04:00

Under the stars
And the fireworks' flash
It was that moment

For me.

The Study Train

2007-08-30T18:27:00.001-04:00

More than two years of absence
And now it's back again
Readings, assignments, homework
Like a pounding, endless rain
Notes, lectures and handouts
Slowly driving me insane
Gaining momentum, making ground
Jump start the study train

Trust

2007-08-28T00:42:00.000-04:00

I will trust.

I Die

2007-08-26T00:28:00.000-04:00

I kill myself again and again
And I wonder
Whether I'll ever give up dying

everyonemakesmistakes
Ijustbeatmyselfaboutthemharder

My Mind

2007-08-24T16:18:00.000-04:00

Simplicity does not imply ignorance
Vulnerability does not indicate weakness
Inactivity does not signify a handicap
Flexibility does not connote a lack of opinion

decipher.

Well

2007-08-23T13:31:00.001-04:00

This strange feeling I feel
Can't place it, can't tell
Like there's more to discover
That it's not a dry well

letmein

Making The Cut

2007-08-20T00:56:00.000-04:00

Me. Thats all I have to give.
But sometimes all doesn't quite make the cut.

I Remember

2007-08-17T02:10:00.001-04:00

I really miss the people
the food, and my home.
But I like it here.

Tranquil

2007-08-11T12:28:00.000-04:00

It's like a uni town set in a remote forest
Simply tranquil.

Exit

2007-08-09T09:59:00.000-04:00

These last days have been tumultuous
But memorable and heartening
And now it is finally time
For me to make my exit

To all who allowed me a part in their lives
Thank you.
Goodbye Singapore.

Especially Dupin(NUS), itsjustme(SAF),
Bossbomb(SG) and Vivahate(1337)

One Of Those

2007-08-06T15:04:00.001-04:00

Futile, desperate attempts to sleep
And I coughed awake again.

It'sjustoneofthosenights

Who

2007-08-06T10:02:00.000-04:00

We are who we were when.

Storm

2007-08-04T14:25:00.000-04:00

Months flashed by like lightning bolt
And memories echo a distant thunder
Renewal rain turns ruins to gold
Only five meagre days left over
Seasonal winds whistle as they blow
The past now a golden treasure
Remaining time tightly we must hold
My comrades, my friends and my brothers

stormthefront

Seven

2007-08-02T12:49:00.000-04:00

Seven days to goodbye
And I've never felt better

Two Weeks Before

2007-08-02T04:03:00.000-04:00

I never participated in this tug of war
Even if you want to believe that I did
Almost ruined friendships just two weeks before
Now you act like you don't know about it
Who lied in order to start this all
Regarded us all mindless twits
So I can't be fucked about this anymore
To act nice and all, there's no need

Andtothat
anonymouscreepwhocommented
fuckoff

Dusk

2007-08-01T14:37:00.000-04:00

These words refuse to see light
And the dusk is beginning to fall

enter dusk

It

2007-07-29T13:23:00.000-04:00

This is it. I hope.

Yoke

2007-07-28T15:25:00.000-04:00

My shoulders ache under unspoken weight
And this soul can't bear to leave
Cigarette smoke, burdens unsaid
And the heart finds no reprieve
Taste ebbs away from the food in my plate
These loads I lug and heave
One more look at all I'm leaving behind
Know that I gave all that I could give

strength and heart

Pointless

2007-07-26T13:36:00.000-04:00

"Why live my life from dream to dream
And dread the day when dreaming ends"

So Long

2007-07-20T14:07:00.000-04:00

And my blog will be put on hold,
until the day I leave.

solongall.

Blankness

2007-07-19T13:39:00.000-04:00

Tonight.
I stare at blankness
and all I have in my head
is one question.
why.

Maybe - Secondhand Serenade

Ready Fuels

2007-07-18T13:08:00.000-04:00

Running down the ready fuels it's finally over, just get over
Time will tell if all turns out ok
Help me to realize my dream is dying redefine despair
I turned away
So look the other way tonight

Anberlin - Ready Fuels

Instruction Manuals

2007-07-18T12:22:00.000-04:00

Little instruction manual.
Read once, never read again.
Left aside and life goes on.
Thats how IU makes me feel.

Eraser

2007-07-18T03:31:00.000-04:00

Erased me cleanly on paper and wire
But I won't do the same

Beneath

2007-07-16T14:11:00.000-04:00

Beneath the smiles and lids
The silence and the in-betweens
struhllitsti
And I just hope you know

Too Much To Ask

2007-07-16T01:28:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to leave my home,
Knowing that everything here will be fine,
Without any complications in my friendships,
Spiteful exchanges over third parties,
Or having to sort out various messes.
I thought this wasn't too much to ask.
Apparently I thought wrong.
But I'm half-packed and leaving anyway,
Whether or not all these situations are resolved.
And I'm gonna to enjoy my 24 days left here,
Even if things aren't how I wish them to be.
But I can't help but feel a pang of disappointment
With some people who told me they cared.

Half

2007-07-15T11:20:00.000-04:00

Half-packed up finally with the help of blood
Big half-crammed suitcase lying on the floor
Tinges of excitement semi-fill my heart
25 more days, already one foot out the door
Lay myself to rest on my half-occupied bed
And I stare at nothing, half-smiling at the wall
Plans for what else to pack jam up half my head
Maybe, just maybe, I might enjoy this after all

lunch on Friday, 10th Aug, T2.

Clubs

2007-07-14T05:05:00.000-04:00

I threw up so badly this morning,
I'm surprised
and kinda disappointed
that my heart didn't come up as well

God I hate clubs.

Right

2007-07-13T14:39:00.000-04:00

As it turns out,
seems like I made the right decision.

2007-07-11T02:18:00.000-04:00

我把电视机打开听着别人的对白
也许那些故事可以给我一个交代
你要的爱我学不来
眼睁睁看情变坏眼睁睁看情感慨

不能给你未来我还你现在
安静结束也是另一种对待
当眼泪留下来伤已超载
分开也是另一种明白

把手放开不问一句 Say Goodbye

当作最后一次对你的溺爱

含着眼泪默默手放开

Courage

2007-06-24T08:44:00.000-04:00

We walked.
and our legs,
they gave out.

Poison

2007-06-22T05:46:00.000-04:00

Pick our poisons
Choose our time to die

Shoot

2007-06-20T12:59:00.000-04:00

So shoot me in the head to end it all
These things that yell in my mind
Am I to lie, or should I just fall
Directions are hard to find

guessigotitwrong.

What The Hell

2007-06-19T16:52:00.000-04:00

Concussed at 9pm
Woke up at 4am
what the hell

Winds

2007-06-18T12:52:00.000-04:00

Where the winds take me, I go

Fall

2007-06-17T15:34:00.000-04:00

Once, I fell and hit my head
Couldn't get up for a year and a half
But I'm not afraid to fall once more
I just don't want to hit my head again

andifIweretotakethefall,
ithadbetterbeworththecrash.

Once

2007-06-16T13:56:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wish that for once
I could let my mind take the backseat
And let my heart do the driving

Maybe then, I'll be happy.

For once.

http://notsolittledrummer.blogspot.com/2007/01/rope-of-blind-hope.html

The Looming Horizon

2007-06-14T11:27:00.000-04:00

Where sadness engulfs the souls in proximity
And the rest all pretend to care
Where excitement is slapped by reality
Fear and anxiety laid bare
Mind drifting, shipwrecked, lost at sea
Blankly at the horizon I stare
Lit cigarette provides no refuge for me
The future, it taunts and it dares
Shadows float by, wrong timing, really
No time, my heart to share
No life buoy to save my sanity
As I drift to neverwhere

toomuchgaimanfortoday

Once

2007-06-10T08:30:00.000-04:00

6 people smoking in a hotel room in town,
swimming in the pool at 3.30am.
We're 22.
These what the fuck moments only come once.

59 days.

The Last Usual Yearly Affair

2007-06-08T15:32:00.000-04:00

The annual bday bbq at my place
will be either on the 23rd or 24th

All relatives, couchies, Jackspeed personnel,
fishmonger(s), courage bastards
and regular attendees are invited.

If you aren't a regular or are unsure,
call me to make enquiries.
T.R, your bloody arse had better turn up.

By the way, the tentative date of my flight:

8th August.

Go HOOSIERS!

Remnants

2007-06-03T21:07:00.000-04:00

Remnants of yesterday fall from the sky
They crack my skull, pierce my soul
Hit the ground with echoes of memory songs
And I wonder what could have been again

So much time passed by, a fleeting whisper
Lost chances scream like a siren gone wild
Numb heart beats the rhythm of painful regret
As I embark on my maiden journey

Veni, Vidi, Vici

2007-05-27T22:40:00.000-04:00

I don't wanna shut doors to possibilities
Just because I'm due at the other end of the globe

But in the very end, I still did.

Heart vs Mind.
He didn't stand a chance.

Centerstage

2007-05-22T13:49:00.000-04:00

This wonderful musical, heartwarming, unnamed
Friends, family, girls and all, fast times, changing lanes
Songs sung in KTVs, good times gone again
Now the pending departure, exciting, somehow profane

Mixed emotions centerstage as the lights start to wane
Sad farewells, tears perhaps, as feelings go insane
Hardest goodbye ever wished, longest flight ever on the plane
Another's gonna bite the dust, this one's named Jermaine

Red, white and somehow, extremely blue.

So Much To Do

2007-05-14T23:44:00.000-04:00

So I've got a crapload of things to do,
and a penny's worth of time.

Basically, I need to:
1. Apply for disruption
- Get all my application and acceptance documents ready
- Show the documents to my unit's MPO

2. Apply for my Student Visa
- Get 3 months of my dad's bank statements
- Get 2 years of my dad's income tax slip
- Complete the DS-156 and student questionaire
- Apply for my exit permit
- Bring everything inclusive of my I-20 and pass it to USEIC
- Go for the embassy interview

3. Confirm my housing applications
- Go for Northwest neighbourhood Quads
- Colins, Fosters or Central

4. Book my flight on the 5th of August
- Arrange flight plans with Alex and Eunice

5. Get my laptop

6. Settle my independent courses from Adam State
- Get my bloody textbooks
- Submit all 22 of my assignments
- Sit for both the exams

7. Buy and pack my stuff

I'm sure there's more but I can't remember! arrgh.

Update For Jac

2007-05-13T10:06:00.000-04:00

So here's whats been going on, for those of you who don't know.
I have been admitted to Indiana University -Bloomington.
If you haven't heard of the school, it's actually has one of the top
business faculties in America. I'm planning to do my bachelors'
and my masters there, so I'll be gone for quite a while.

In view of my pending departure, I decided, hey, I should spend
more time with my friends so I won't leave with any regrets.
So I called and met up with old friends, made lot of new ones,
and invested more effort on those who have been
here all this while. I don't need a girlfriend at this point in time.
My friends more than make up for my lack of a partner.

Then Joseph left, and that sucked bad. Then I found out some
assholes in camp are turning people against each other.
I sorted out the mess with these people and everything seems fine
right now. SEEMS FINE being the emphasis of that sentence.
Thats why I'm hating every second of work now. It isn't the stress
of the job that gets to me. It's having to choose my words carefully
in front of my "friends" that does.
Hell, it seems like all normal people simply disappeared from my
workplace, and now my solace is found in the old guard:
the people that have been here all this while. It's good enough,
but the fucked up life in camp makes
me really want to leave Singapore.

So now it's more of giving my best to people while I still can,
and although not all actually appreciate it, and some even
misinterpret it, I do what I can.

After all, it's just two months, and Jun Min is likely to join me
in the states after one semester. I mean, it's definitely gonna
be tough leaving it all behind, but given the screwed up
situation I'm in, I'd rather start on a clean slate than wallow
in this shithole,
so Singapore can seriously kiss my ass goodbye.

By the way, I've got this friend, Samantha. She's really hot,
but thats not my point. Spent the evening with her today
and found out that she's actually renting an apartment
somewhere along Southbank in Melbourne. She's wondering
whether there might be cheaper housing. Care to help?
The babe's leaving for Monash (Caulfield) on June 25th.

Away and Across The Atlantic

2007-05-13T07:55:00.000-04:00

At this point in time
Apart from my family and a few select comrades
I can't find anything that I don't want to leave behind
All thats happening
The departures and backstabbing
The cover ups and the dreary repetitiveness of life here
Is really pushing me
Away and across the Atlantic.