Opinions
This is the first time I'm blogging in such a manner.
It will also be the last.
I write this post because I want to get my messages across very, very clearly.
The opinions stated below are not at all targeted to any particular person I know.
They are my views and general comments about the things I have been seeing or noticing lately.
You may not agree with what you are about to read, but my opinions on these issues hold fast.
First of all, I concede that my way of blogging is odd and some actually think I'm a poser.
I don't really care, honestly.
In the first place, this blog started out as an avenue for me to express my problems or experiences in ways that only people who know me understand.
At that point of time, I couldn't let my problems be known to the church members reading my blog as they would have very likely been affected.
This is why I wrote in a more indirect manner, so that only my fellow leaders close to me knew what I was talking about.
People usually get what I'm trying to say when it does concern them.
When it doesn't concern the reader, then my posts would probably make no sense.
The thing is, I would very much appreciate that those who don't grasp certain posts of mine to come and ask me what's going on, rather than conjure a million unfounded conclusions.
I do not see what is wrong with setting proper boundaries with one's friends.
The whole "friendships are supposed to be simple" talk is just plain bullshit.
Let's face the fact: relationships are never simple.
All relationships require effort, time, sacrifice and maintenance.
Friendships don't just happen.
Every lasting and mature relationship needs boundaries.
People need to know what are the lines they cannot cross, the things they can't say or do.
The notion that inter-personal relations are supposed to be simplistic is a fallacy that only foolish people believe in.
Recently, I have seen various people saying that there's too much drama going around, some even stating that everyone's an actor in his/her drama (leading or supporting, I don't give a horse's ass).
The bottom line is it pisses me off.
I fail to understand how all the contributions made by each individual into the lives of their friends can be deemed as nothing but a drama.
I regard such statements as slander.
It is extremely unfair to all the people who have made the effort to be involved in the lives of others and who have spent time and effort cultivating relationships.
What then, is the point of meeting up, hanging out, talking on the phone, or simply spending time together if everything is just a fucking drama?
If that is truly the case, I can't help but feel sorry for those who see their friends, or their lives for that matter, in that light.
Screw those people, and to hell with that Shakespearean quote.
One thing I have to say is that I stand by my mentality that all friends come and go.
By saying so, I do not discount the importance of peer support and availability.
It also doesn't mean that I do not cherish my friends.
I simply feel that the majority of friends cannot stay involved in one's life to the very end.
My personal principle is that I invest to my fullest in the lives of my peers while I still can.
To me, all friendships should be a win-win situation for both parties.
It's just like karma: you reap whatever you sow.
Even when some friendships may not bear any fruit, at the very least, one can leave with the knowledge that he/she did try to make things work.
Life is never a bed of roses. Cliched as this sentence may be, it is undeniably true.
We all have our fair share of difficulties to go through.
Some of these trials, we have to go through alone.
Faced with certain tough situations, sometimes one has no choice but to suck it up and grab the problem by the balls.
We cannot carry the mentality that there must be people beside us at every single point in life.
If one chooses to carry this mentality, then his/her personal development would be severely stunted.
This world isn't a Neverland.
We all need to grow up, learn to walk on our own two feet.
If one continuously heads for the hills whenever he/ she encounters problems, then that person will find that even after years of running away, that problem comes back like an old ghost.
It's like finding a pile of shit on your bed and instead of clearing it up, you sleep on the floor.
In the end, you wake up with a backache and the shit's still there.
Lastly, we all know and understand that each person has needs.
Regrettably, not everybody knows to ask when he/she has a need.
I choose to trust that all my friends have a certain level of relational maturity.
Yes, some of us do have our squabbles here and there, but in the end, we all understand each other.
What I don't get is when one has a need and decides to withdraw or show minimal interest to all his/her friends, carrying the expectation that his/her friends would somehow notice and start showering care and concern.
It's like a childish game of hide and seek.
Fun for the one hiding, fucked up for the one seeking.
We all have needs.
Babies know how to cry when they've dirtied themselves, dogs know how to beg for food.
When we need support or help from our friends, is it that hard to just ask?
And when people do take the effort and show genuine concern, the least one could do is to appreciate the effort instead of saying "I don't need you."
I think that is common sense.
It will also be the last.
I write this post because I want to get my messages across very, very clearly.
The opinions stated below are not at all targeted to any particular person I know.
They are my views and general comments about the things I have been seeing or noticing lately.
You may not agree with what you are about to read, but my opinions on these issues hold fast.
First of all, I concede that my way of blogging is odd and some actually think I'm a poser.
I don't really care, honestly.
In the first place, this blog started out as an avenue for me to express my problems or experiences in ways that only people who know me understand.
At that point of time, I couldn't let my problems be known to the church members reading my blog as they would have very likely been affected.
This is why I wrote in a more indirect manner, so that only my fellow leaders close to me knew what I was talking about.
People usually get what I'm trying to say when it does concern them.
When it doesn't concern the reader, then my posts would probably make no sense.
The thing is, I would very much appreciate that those who don't grasp certain posts of mine to come and ask me what's going on, rather than conjure a million unfounded conclusions.
I do not see what is wrong with setting proper boundaries with one's friends.
The whole "friendships are supposed to be simple" talk is just plain bullshit.
Let's face the fact: relationships are never simple.
All relationships require effort, time, sacrifice and maintenance.
Friendships don't just happen.
Every lasting and mature relationship needs boundaries.
People need to know what are the lines they cannot cross, the things they can't say or do.
The notion that inter-personal relations are supposed to be simplistic is a fallacy that only foolish people believe in.
Recently, I have seen various people saying that there's too much drama going around, some even stating that everyone's an actor in his/her drama (leading or supporting, I don't give a horse's ass).
The bottom line is it pisses me off.
I fail to understand how all the contributions made by each individual into the lives of their friends can be deemed as nothing but a drama.
I regard such statements as slander.
It is extremely unfair to all the people who have made the effort to be involved in the lives of others and who have spent time and effort cultivating relationships.
What then, is the point of meeting up, hanging out, talking on the phone, or simply spending time together if everything is just a fucking drama?
If that is truly the case, I can't help but feel sorry for those who see their friends, or their lives for that matter, in that light.
Screw those people, and to hell with that Shakespearean quote.
One thing I have to say is that I stand by my mentality that all friends come and go.
By saying so, I do not discount the importance of peer support and availability.
It also doesn't mean that I do not cherish my friends.
I simply feel that the majority of friends cannot stay involved in one's life to the very end.
My personal principle is that I invest to my fullest in the lives of my peers while I still can.
To me, all friendships should be a win-win situation for both parties.
It's just like karma: you reap whatever you sow.
Even when some friendships may not bear any fruit, at the very least, one can leave with the knowledge that he/she did try to make things work.
Life is never a bed of roses. Cliched as this sentence may be, it is undeniably true.
We all have our fair share of difficulties to go through.
Some of these trials, we have to go through alone.
Faced with certain tough situations, sometimes one has no choice but to suck it up and grab the problem by the balls.
We cannot carry the mentality that there must be people beside us at every single point in life.
If one chooses to carry this mentality, then his/her personal development would be severely stunted.
This world isn't a Neverland.
We all need to grow up, learn to walk on our own two feet.
If one continuously heads for the hills whenever he/ she encounters problems, then that person will find that even after years of running away, that problem comes back like an old ghost.
It's like finding a pile of shit on your bed and instead of clearing it up, you sleep on the floor.
In the end, you wake up with a backache and the shit's still there.
Lastly, we all know and understand that each person has needs.
Regrettably, not everybody knows to ask when he/she has a need.
I choose to trust that all my friends have a certain level of relational maturity.
Yes, some of us do have our squabbles here and there, but in the end, we all understand each other.
What I don't get is when one has a need and decides to withdraw or show minimal interest to all his/her friends, carrying the expectation that his/her friends would somehow notice and start showering care and concern.
It's like a childish game of hide and seek.
Fun for the one hiding, fucked up for the one seeking.
We all have needs.
Babies know how to cry when they've dirtied themselves, dogs know how to beg for food.
When we need support or help from our friends, is it that hard to just ask?
And when people do take the effort and show genuine concern, the least one could do is to appreciate the effort instead of saying "I don't need you."
I think that is common sense.
resolute at 12:55 PM
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